Pieces Of The Puzzle
by clandestinedly
Summary: Mark's alone in his hotel room, musing over aspects of his life and wondering when he transformed from a manwhore to a lovesick puppy. But then, it's always been Addison, hasn't it?


Relationships had never been a key feature in Mark's life. He had always been the guy who had the reputation on campus for sleeping about. The guy with enough notches on his bedpost to require a new frame every three months. The guy who had kept the 'chicktionary' during college, an alphabetical list of his sexual conquest with a rating for each one. Anyone above an eight, he'd more than likely have slept with again. Anyone below a five, and he'd be up before they woke up so he didn't have to leave his name or number with them. Your typical asshole, jerk of a guy women always bitched about to their friends, but secretly dreamt they could have one night with. And on top of that, he was quite happy to be that guy. No commitment, no emotions, no reality.

Mark had been born into a wealthy family. Money flowed through their veins instead of blood. There was no family structure, no movie nights, no father-son baseball games. No cuddles or kisses when he was a small child who had fallen off his bike for the first time; instead, a stern lecture about how he should take better care of his possessions. And if he didn't, there'd be a harsh whip with the belt, or the back of a hand, or worse.

He wasn't sure what had changed when he met Addison back at medical school. What had caused his entire world to slip from it's axis, and find a new perspective. It was as though his world had slipped from the cold, darkness of the moon, into the warmth, happiness of the bright sunlight. Addison was like the sun, and when she had married Derek, he had happily slipped into his former self, fucking anything that moved on two legs with a vagina for genitalia.

Then, there was Lexie. That was a different kind of feeling, born from intense sexual chemistry that had naturally formed into something else. He had settled with her, as Addison had settled, by then, with some guy down in LA. Mark tried not to get wrapped up in the inner workings of the gorgeous redhead's life, preferring to focus on something, _someone_, more attainable: Little Grey.

Even as the words tumbled from his lips, those three little words that held such a powerful meaning - he was still thinking of Addison. It wasn't that he didn't love Lexie, because, he was sure that what he was feeling was love. But perhaps it was just a stronger infatuation that he had named 'love', because the thing he loved was truly Addison, who was truly unobtainable to him.

Bumping into Addison in New York, though was like reigniting a match that had gone out. It was raw, and unpredictable, and had thrown Mark back into the whirlwind of feelings he had managed to lock away all of those years ago. At the same time, it was like fitting the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle in place, and everything strangely made sense. And for the first time, Mark was properly ready to commit. To seriously commit, and then he had put his size eleven feet into his mouth, when he had suggested that they could be official.

That seemed to be the nail in the coffin, because then he felt himself go into lock-down as Addison had said that she wanted to take time to get to know each other again. He couldn't understand that. Get to know each other? The one thing he knew, and was sure of, was that Addison was the person he wanted in his life. The person he wanted to grow old with. Addison was everything, she was 'it'. She was the end to his past life, and the beginning of his future as a man in a committed, serious relationship.

He was ready to take that step, and somehow, somewhere in those missing years, her priorities had changed. She had Henry now, and although Mark didn't have kids, he understood that of course, he was her main concern. Looking at her text message in his phone, he sighs heavily, as though something were pressing on his chest and he was struggling for air and for once, the silver-tongued man was silenced.

Mark was going to have to accept that things weren't going to be as easy as he wanted them to be. They weren't just going to fall into place, the jigsaw pieces of their lives had an extra, spare piece he hadn't accounted for, and he suddenly found himself wanting to adapt for that extra piece. For Henry. If he was able to change himself, to allow himself to be a father to the one thing he'd sworn he'd never have - children - then perhaps he and Addison could be together, and they could be happy.


End file.
